Batnurlyarpquill is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, temperamental squirrel.

Batnurlyarpquill created the Sombrero Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Batnurlyarpquill, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Batnurlyarpquill, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Batnurlyarpquill's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Batnurlyarpquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Batnurlyarpquill loves moths, so they must be respected.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Never hurt horses.

5. Put Batnurlyarpquill first in all things.