Sandgedmilwan is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, boastful grasshopper.

Sandgedmilwan created Mount Everest six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sandgedmilwan, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Sandgedmilwan, he will ignore you.

Sandgedmilwan's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Sandgedmilwan's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Sandgedmilwan loves snails, so they must be respected.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Run away from gray badgers, for they are unholy.

5. Never write about amino acids.