Tofjopgan is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, awesome ferret.

Tofjopgan created life two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofjopgan, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tofjopgan, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Tofjopgan's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Tofjopgan's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of shrews.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not speak about grapes.

4. Always help geese in need.

5. Feed all hungry gulls.