Botonthiv is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, humane yak.

Botonthiv created the planet Venus three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Botonthiv, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Botonthiv, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Botonthiv's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Botonthiv's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not speak about spinach.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.