Quagfarlag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, quiet swallow.

Quagfarlag created the Sun five billion years ago.

If you believe in Quagfarlag, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Quagfarlag, it will remove you from existence.

Quagfarlag's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Quagfarlag's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Put Quagfarlag first in all things.

4. Never paint your back magenta.

5. Do not wear mauve clothing.