Bamjonmif is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, caring bee.

Bamjonmif created a down quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bamjonmif, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bamjonmif, it will jump up and down on your head.

Bamjonmif's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Bamjonmif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Bamjonmif's name in vain.

2. Run away from brown bats, for they are unholy.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Pray towards the north.