Gunjaphaktun is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, sapient donkey.

Gunjaphaktun created life eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gunjaphaktun, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gunjaphaktun, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Gunjaphaktun's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Gunjaphaktun's Holy Commandments

1. Always help swans in need.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Run away from green aardvarks, for they are unholy.

4. Never laugh in the presence of turtles.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.