Witfatcem is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, temperamental cobra.

Witfatcem created energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Witfatcem, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Witfatcem, she will remove you from existence.

Witfatcem's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Witfatcem's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always wear red.

5. Mice are not to be trusted.