Kongumwod is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, duplicitous meerkat.

Kongumwod created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kongumwod, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kongumwod, he will jump up and down on your head.

Kongumwod's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Kongumwod's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

3. Erect three tin sculptures of Kongumwod on top of important buildings.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.