Damafban is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, unsympathetic mink.

Damafban created humankind eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Damafban, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Damafban, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Damafban's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Damafban's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tin on your body.

2. You must never eat grapes.

3. Damafban loves mice, so they must be respected.

4. Never mention manatees.

5. You must love Damafban.