Homfunlap Saswegrutt is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, dishonest ferret.

Homfunlap Saswegrutt created a bottom quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Homfunlap Saswegrutt, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Homfunlap Saswegrutt, she will try to impress you with trees.

Homfunlap Saswegrutt's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Homfunlap Saswegrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never talk about aardvarks.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never wear cyan kilts.