Rapquillmadnib is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, blissful troll.

Rapquillmadnib created bats nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Rapquillmadnib, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rapquillmadnib, she will send you a sign.

Rapquillmadnib's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Rapquillmadnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Hide from fawn foxes for they are unholy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never sing in the presence of voles.

5. Do not hurt geese.