Flowdavyarp is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, merciful finch.

Flowdavyarp created the planet Mars seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flowdavyarp, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flowdavyarp, it will turn you into a snail.

Flowdavyarp's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Flowdavyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair green.

2. Flowdavyarp loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Run away from orange foxes, for they are unholy.

5. You must pray to Flowdavyarp seven times a day.