Tonklunbatfitzag is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, witty salamander.

Tonklunbatfitzag created a Higgs boson five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonklunbatfitzag, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tonklunbatfitzag, it will turn you into a sheep.

Tonklunbatfitzag's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Tonklunbatfitzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Tonklunbatfitzag loves manatees, so they must be respected.

3. Never think ill of sick pigs.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.