Dissdontarg is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, witty fly.

Dissdontarg created light four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissdontarg, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dissdontarg, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Dissdontarg's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Dissdontarg's Holy Commandments

1. Put Dissdontarg first in all things.

2. Retreat if three horses approach from the north.

3. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Dissdontarg must be the most important thing in your life.