Lunjanpas Cipartgid Ranlipmad is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, merciless dragon.

Lunjanpas Cipartgid Ranlipmad created parasitic wasps four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lunjanpas Cipartgid Ranlipmad, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lunjanpas Cipartgid Ranlipmad, she will turn you into a snail.

Lunjanpas Cipartgid Ranlipmad's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Lunjanpas Cipartgid Ranlipmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Always obey Lunjanpas Cipartgid Ranlipmad's priests.

4. Always look after injured manatees.

5. Do not hurt cats.