Citbannel is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, tiresome bat.

Citbannel created a down quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Citbannel, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Citbannel, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Citbannel's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Citbannel's Holy Commandments

1. Put Citbannel first in all things.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Fast once a month.

4. You must never eat nuts.

5. Always help sick mites.