Appascad is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, unselfish chinchilla.

Appascad created a quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Appascad, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Appascad, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Appascad's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Appascad's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Appascad.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

5. Never write about stars.