Dumflowbig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, narcissistic hamster.

Dumflowbig created matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumflowbig, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dumflowbig, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Dumflowbig's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Dumflowbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ants.

2. Retreat if seven badgers approach from the west.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Feed all hungry voles.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.