Lapvilkadtipnuttamfas is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, dishonest unicorn.

Lapvilkadtipnuttamfas created parasitic wasps eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapvilkadtipnuttamfas, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lapvilkadtipnuttamfas, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Lapvilkadtipnuttamfas' most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Lapvilkadtipnuttamfas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

3. Do not wear copper on your body.

4. Lapvilkadtipnuttamfas loves seals, so they must be honoured.

5. Never pour water over plants.