Zensatduss Lunbonkyatt Popsafgum is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, emotional duck.

Zensatduss Lunbonkyatt Popsafgum created tapeworms eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zensatduss Lunbonkyatt Popsafgum, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zensatduss Lunbonkyatt Popsafgum, she will turn you into a mole.

Zensatduss Lunbonkyatt Popsafgum's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Zensatduss Lunbonkyatt Popsafgum's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always look after injured otters.

3. Zensatduss Lunbonkyatt Popsafgum must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Pray towards the south.