Rapfitham is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, compassionate crab.

Rapfitham created an electron three million years ago.

If you believe in Rapfitham, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Rapfitham, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Rapfitham's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Rapfitham's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not hurt sheep.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not bounce in public.