Nelflabxen is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, conceited giraffe.

Nelflabxen created humanity twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nelflabxen, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nelflabxen, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Nelflabxen's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Nelflabxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back cyan.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never laugh in the presence of ducks.

5. Nelflabxen loves sharks, so they must be honoured.