Nilldagquam is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, witty tapir.

Nilldagquam created the Sombrero Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nilldagquam, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nilldagquam, it will turn you into a goat.

Nilldagquam's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Nilldagquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

2. Never talk about porpoises.

3. Always help sick cats.

4. Nilldagquam loves gulls, so they must be respected.

5. Put Nilldagquam first in all things.