Getdutlam is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, unselfish snail.

Getdutlam created a Higgs boson two million years ago.

If you believe in Getdutlam, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Getdutlam, he will turn you into a mole.

Getdutlam's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Getdutlam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Getdutlam on top of all buildings.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Fast once a month.