Quatbasscen Xemsafcit is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, ill-tempered skunk.

Quatbasscen Xemsafcit created oxygen two years ago.

If you believe in Quatbasscen Xemsafcit, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quatbasscen Xemsafcit, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Quatbasscen Xemsafcit's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Quatbasscen Xemsafcit's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.

5. You must never eat melons.