Monbitvedkopkinhonjatbep Pibsafzen Hitpopgud is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, vain aardvark.

Monbitvedkopkinhonjatbep Pibsafzen Hitpopgud created silver five billion years ago.

If you believe in Monbitvedkopkinhonjatbep Pibsafzen Hitpopgud, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Monbitvedkopkinhonjatbep Pibsafzen Hitpopgud, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Monbitvedkopkinhonjatbep Pibsafzen Hitpopgud's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Monbitvedkopkinhonjatbep Pibsafzen Hitpopgud's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. You must love Monbitvedkopkinhonjatbep Pibsafzen Hitpopgud.

3. Run away if three grasshopers approach from the west.

4. Never feed gooseberries to porpoises while wearing orange shirts.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.