Targtofdonmif is a god.

She takes the form of a large, pitiless bat.

Targtofdonmif created life five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Targtofdonmif, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Targtofdonmif, she will not care.

Targtofdonmif's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Targtofdonmif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.

3. Targtofdonmif must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Never hurt gulls.