Saklopbemmut is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, benevolent pigeon.

Saklopbemmut created the Sombrero Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Saklopbemmut, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Saklopbemmut, he will turn you into a snail.

Saklopbemmut's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Saklopbemmut's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Fast once a month.