Bassmadwap is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, selfish badger.

Bassmadwap created the Sol system three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bassmadwap, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bassmadwap, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Bassmadwap's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Bassmadwap's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Hide if four sharks approach from the east.

3. You must never eat grapes.

4. Do not speak about apples.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Bassmadwap.