Flamgomcanjondid is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, tranquil elephant.

Flamgomcanjondid created Asia four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flamgomcanjondid, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flamgomcanjondid, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Flamgomcanjondid's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Flamgomcanjondid's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Hide from red cats for they are unholy.

3. Retreat if nine aardvarks approach from the south.

4. Never feed aubergines to turtles while wearing yellow shoes.

5. Run away if five bats approach from the east.