Vab is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, caring otter.

Vab created a top quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vab, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vab, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Vab's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Vab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not take Vab's name in vain.

3. Hide from brown great tits for they are unholy.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.