Nakdossyaklarg is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, egotistical dryad.

Nakdossyaklarg created humanity two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nakdossyaklarg, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nakdossyaklarg, he will turn you into a puffin.

Nakdossyaklarg's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Nakdossyaklarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Nakdossyaklarg on top of all buildings.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not wear black clothing.

5. Never paint your hands mauve.