Somcubdod is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, bad-tempered jaguar.

Somcubdod created tapeworms nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Somcubdod, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Somcubdod, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Somcubdod's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Somcubdod's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not kill pigs.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not take Somcubdod's name in vain.

5. Hide if six porpoises approach from the west.