Fatxucktarquimruttmet is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, prudent bee.

Fatxucktarquimruttmet created the world three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatxucktarquimruttmet, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fatxucktarquimruttmet, she will turn you into a frog.

Fatxucktarquimruttmet's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Fatxucktarquimruttmet's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never mention eagles.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

5. Never write about gravity.