Citkikbast Camcartitgedvidflat Ganqueegtik is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, almighty cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Citkikbast Camcartitgedvidflat Ganqueegtik created water six million years ago.

If you believe in Citkikbast Camcartitgedvidflat Ganqueegtik, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Citkikbast Camcartitgedvidflat Ganqueegtik, it will cry a lot.

Citkikbast Camcartitgedvidflat Ganqueegtik's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Citkikbast Camcartitgedvidflat Ganqueegtik's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

4. Never laugh in the presence of geese.

5. Never feed pineapples to mites while wearing green scarves.