Canlipxinnulzod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, awesome goat.

Canlipxinnulzod created a Higgs boson eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Canlipxinnulzod, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Canlipxinnulzod, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Canlipxinnulzod's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Canlipxinnulzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

2. You must never eat lentils.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Canlipxinnulzod must be the most important thing in your life.

5. You must pray to Canlipxinnulzod nine times a day.