Ortingbog is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, intelligent seal.

Ortingbog created vertebrates two years ago.

If you believe in Ortingbog, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ortingbog, she will destroy your home planet.

Ortingbog's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Ortingbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Do not hurt aardvarks.

3. Never eat corn.

4. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

5. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.