Cunwotstik is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, stupid parrot.

Cunwotstik created the Virgo Supercluster seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cunwotstik, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cunwotstik, it will be very sad.

Cunwotstik's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Cunwotstik's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four silver sculptures of Cunwotstik on top of important buildings.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Cunwotstik.

3. Do not eat aubergines.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Always treat monkeys with great respect.