Metfitbanfen is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, temperamental beaver.

Metfitbanfen created Africa three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Metfitbanfen, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Metfitbanfen, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Metfitbanfen's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Metfitbanfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about snakes.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.