Fadkipxem is a god.

It takes the form of a large, calm owl.

Fadkipxem created snails eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fadkipxem, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fadkipxem, it will turn you into a hamster.

Fadkipxem's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Fadkipxem's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Never wear cyan tights.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Always look after injured mites.