Gofbadlip is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, bad-tempered beaver.

Gofbadlip created silver seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofbadlip, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gofbadlip, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Gofbadlip's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Gofbadlip's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed apples to hamsters while wearing black trousers.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gofbadlip.

3. Never hurt turtles.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.