Flowlinflam is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, quiet wren.

Flowlinflam created a down quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Flowlinflam, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flowlinflam, she will turn you into a mouse.

Flowlinflam's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Flowlinflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest yellow.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.