Gonbutcet is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, unselfish badger.

Gonbutcet created the Large Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonbutcet, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gonbutcet, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Gonbutcet's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Gonbutcet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

2. Always help snails.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. You must love Gonbutcet.

5. Feed all hungry nematodes.