Kabjinbog is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unthinking crane.

Kabjinbog created the planet Mars six million years ago.

If you believe in Kabjinbog, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kabjinbog, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Kabjinbog's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Kabjinbog's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four geese approach from the south.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kabjinbog.

3. Do not wear titanium on your body.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.