Yarlcadrutt Nanbatbonkgum is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, effective bat.

Yarlcadrutt Nanbatbonkgum created an up quark four years ago.

If you believe in Yarlcadrutt Nanbatbonkgum, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yarlcadrutt Nanbatbonkgum, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Yarlcadrutt Nanbatbonkgum's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Yarlcadrutt Nanbatbonkgum's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never talk about gravity.