Tonzagpit is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, calm lion.

Tonzagpit created a bottom quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonzagpit, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Tonzagpit, it will send minions to preach to you.

Tonzagpit's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Tonzagpit's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Tonzagpit loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

3. Tonzagpit loves whales, so they must be respected.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.