Vonkfumdud is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, almighty unicorn.

Vonkfumdud created matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkfumdud, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vonkfumdud, he will not invite you to parties.

Vonkfumdud's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Vonkfumdud's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight silver sculptures of Vonkfumdud on top of important buildings.

2. Hide if nine cats approach from the south.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never eat bananas.

5. Never write about black holes.