Pidwanbess is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, blissful duck.

Pidwanbess created the planet Mars three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pidwanbess, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Pidwanbess, it will manifest in front of you.

Pidwanbess' most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Pidwanbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet rings.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.