Bitjendossyathabnullzoddob Talcutnignel is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, vain cat.

Bitjendossyathabnullzoddob Talcutnignel created humankind six million years ago.

If you believe in Bitjendossyathabnullzoddob Talcutnignel, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bitjendossyathabnullzoddob Talcutnignel, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Bitjendossyathabnullzoddob Talcutnignel's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Bitjendossyathabnullzoddob Talcutnignel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Never think ill of sick snakes.

5. Do not speak about wheat.